My name is Dilpreet Dhindsa. Born on April 28, 1993. I used to live in India and moved to the US just 18 days before by 6th birthday. My family came here in search of a better life because we we’re extremely poor back home.
I started in Kindergarten where I wasn’t treated differently and if I was then I wouldn’t know because I didn’t speak any English. 1st grade came along and I met a few of my friends and a few bullies. I was picked on for the way I dressed when there was a school uniform, picked on for what kind of shoes I wore, picked on cause I played video games, picked on cause I didn’t play sports, picked on cause I was smart, and picked on because of my race. As Elementary went on, the only thing that changed was the way I would get bullied. I was dragged into the bathrooms in Elementary and was kicked and beat up by not one but 4-5 guys at once. I used to come home and cry in the bathroom while I looked at myself in the mirror and questioned God that he had only sent me on this Earth to inflict nothing but pain and suffering upon me. I’ve had many thoughts of committing suicide, there was a time when I even attempted overdosing on pills but nothing had happened to me. For some reason, I was kept alive.
A day before 7th grade, I cut my hair. I thought that people would begin to treat me differently and they did, for a while at least but then it was back to the usual. I had completely changed the way I looked, I cut my hair, got skinny, and even dressed differently. So why? Once again I found myself nowhere. Once again, God thought it was funny to throw me back into darkness where I had nothing but sorrow. The thoughts of committing suicide came back but this time with different ideas. Then I found a girl who I thought was completely different. I began to like her and my thoughts of suicide vanished. I began to write poetry but never showed anyone because I was afraid of getting picked on. I didn’t want to go through that again. I wanted to fit in and be treated like everyone else. I asked her to be mine and she said yes. I was the happiest kid alive. What more could I ask for? A few weeks passed and I found out that she had cheated on me. There I was once again, stranded, with no one to turn to. I found myself in darkness….again. I started venting out my anger into poetry. It felt good. It made me calm down. I had finally found a way to channel my anger into words.
Eighth grade came and I fell for another girl. I didn’t rush with her though. I wanted to make sure she was right for me. So I waited and when Freshman year came I decided to tell her how I felt about her. I then found out she was dating another guy and I decided to hold back. Little did I know that over the years me and him would become close friends. I figured that I would have to divert my attention away from her and the only way I could do that was if I gave other girls my attention. It didn’t work, she was still on my mind. I tried it all the way until Junior year. That was when they had broken up. I thought I had my chance to tell her. I waited a few weeks and told her how I felt. She said that she wasn’t looking for a relationship and was focusing on herself when she was already in one. She lied to me and broke my trust. From that point on my poetry became music.
I had never focused in school after Elementary which caused my parents to be unhappy with me. All the anger and stress that I had got from school, I used to come home and vent it all out on my parents which hurt them even more. I’m definitely changing and I’m trying to be a better son as the years go by which is why I don’t show all the pain and suffering I’ve been put through because I want everyone around me to be happy and feel like I’ve had an amazing life, when if you open up the door to my past all you will see is evil, tears, blood, and darkness. I haven’t changed, I’m still that happy kid but what has changed is my attitude. I want everyone to be happy but as soon as you fuck me over, I don’t want to see you ever again.
Want to get to know me more? Ask me.